Work-To-Death Coffin Chair
$9,999,999 SOLD OUT
Wish you could seamlessly transition from spreadsheets to six feet under? Look no further than Facet’s Coffin Chair, designed to streamline your journey from office drone to dearly departed!
The Coffin Chair may be gone, but your financial security doesn't have to be.
Caution: This content is a satirical tombstone for your free time, not an actual highway to the afterlife. The only thing we’re dead serious about is this page not being serious. (Disappointed ghosts, please don’t haunt us.)
Specs
Impressionable fabric molds to your body for ultimate comfort, pre-eternity.
Harsh fluorescent mood lighting mimics the invigorating office environment.
Ergonomic support for all those meetings that should have been emails.
Skip the wait! Our Coffin Chair delivers near-instant eternal rest.
But if you’d rather R.I.P. (Retire in Peace), Facet can help.
We’re buried in good reviews.
My husband never took the time to learn about financial planning. The Work-To-Death Coffin Chair? Perfect! Now he's finally “retired” (dead.) Can't wait to join him (with my matching chair) and finally teach him about finances... from the other side! Thanks Facet!
Diane L.
Happy Widow
If there’s one thing to know about me, it’s that I hate asking for help. Financial planners? No thanks, I can do it myself. Who cares if I can never retire—at least I have this comfortable chair to take me from the office to the afterlife.
Greg B.
Lone Wolf
Writing this review from six feet under and boy, I could not be happier with this purchase! Sure, I spent my whole life working and none of my loved ones are taken care of, but I’ll be darned if this Coffin Chair didn’t make my funeral an absolute breeze.
Wyatt M.
Ghost
Invest in your future, not a final resting place.
Let’s connect and talk about financial wellness and your dream retirement.